Garmonbozia

From the Twin Peaks television series and the film "Twin Peaks: Fire Walk with Me" 

Mark Frost and David Lynch's Twin Peaks is a cult classic. Though the series was classified as a drama and written like a soap opera parody, it delved pretty deeply into horror, surrealism and the supernatural. There's a lot in Twin Peaks for a geek to love, including Fox Mulder killing it as a trans-woman ("Fix your hearts or die" - David Lynch). It even inspired a video game, Deadly Premonition, which in turn inspired a surprisingly delicious recipe in The Geeky Chef Cookbook. In October of 2014, it was announced that Twin Peaks would be getting a long awaited and much deserved reboot on the Showtime network. The future of this reboot was briefly in question when David Lynch distanced himself from the project. However, it seems that things are coming back together. Twin Peaks did have a lot of fantastic food moments, like this, and this, and especially this. However, there's only one fictional food: Garmonbozia.  Garmonbozia is what the spirits of the Black Lodge eat.  It is basically a corporeal manifestation of sorrow and pain, or negative energy. Humans cannot comprehend it's true form, so it takes on the likeness of... creamed corn.  Now, I know many of us do associate creamed corn with pain and suffering because, in most cases, it is truly awful. I would like to assure you that this is nothing like those sad cans of depression. You will relish every last bite of this rich and creamy delight, just like the spirits of the Black Lodge. Perhaps you can finish your meal with a slice of cherry pie and some damn fine coffee at the Double R Diner— or maybe just an obscene amount of jelly donuts.

Ingredients:

• 4 cups Sweet Corn Kernals (fresh or frozen)
• 1 cup Heavy Cream
• 2 tbs Unsalted Butter
• 2 tbs Cream Cheese
• 1/2 cup Whole Milk
• 1/4 cup Pecorino Romano Cheese, grated
• 1/4 cup Asiago Cheese, grated
  
• 2 tbs. All-Purpose Flour
• 1 tbs Onion Powder
• 1 tbs Garlic Powder
• Pinch of Smoked Paprika
  
• Lemon Pepper (to taste)
• Salt (to taste)
• Chopped chives or fresh parsley (to garnish, optional)
  

Directions:

1. In a medium saucepan, melt the butter over medium heat. Add the corn, heavy cream, cream cheese, onion powder, garlic powder, salt, smoked paprika, and lemon pepper. Stir and bring to a simmer.  
2. In a small bowl, whisk together the milk and flour until smooth.  
3. Gradually pour the milk-flour mixture into the saucepan, stirring constantly. 
4. Continue simmering until the sauce thickens.  
5. Stir in the grated cheeses and cook until melted and fully incorporated.  
6. Taste and adjust seasonings. 
7. Garnish with chopped chives or parsley. Serve hot.