Portal Cake

From the Portal video game

So I guess I'm a little late to the party with this one, but as I was finally beating Portal last night I realized that this was just so obvious and mandatory for a collection like mine. I had to take action. You can find other versions of the cake pretty much everywhere (floating around on the web with labels like "the cake is not a lie!) but I wanted to make mine the most accurate and tasty. I'm sure most of you nerdy types, and even some of you fabled "cool people" have seen the phrase "the cake is a lie" on t-shirts and in your social networking stratosphere and pretty much everywhere else. This phrase can be be traced to the beloved and critically acclaimed video game titled "Portal." In Portal, you are made to navigate a research facility using a device which allows you to create portals between two points on any flat surface. During this you are monitored and "guided" by an artificial intelligence named GLaDOS who promises you cake and grief counseling at the conclusion of the test. There is an easter egg in the game itself where you can find a recipe for cake written in binary code, but the recipe is only an ingredients list for plain chocolate cake and lacks instructions (though it has some great suggestions for garnishes). According to the developers, the design of the cake was inspired by a cake at the chinese bakery near their place of work, identified as a Black Forest cake. Black Forest cake is a kind of German cake that uses chocolate, whipped cream, cherries and a cherry flavored liquor called Kirschwasser. So today I have made for you a recipe of my own Black Forest Cake, delicious and moist and worth all the trouble, even being shot by cute little sentry guns. It has four layers, is filled with boozey chocolate cherry goodness, and the result should look just like the one in the game. Bake this cake and throw a big party that all your friends are invited to! Don't forget to invite your weighted companion cube... Oh wait. Never mind.

Ingredients

For The Cake:

1 2/3 cups all-purpose flour

1 1/2 cups granulated sugar

2/3 cup unsweetened cocoa powder

1 1/2 teaspoons baking soda

1 teaspoon salt

1 1/2 cups buttermilk

1/2 cup vegetable shortening 

2 eggs

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

1/2 cup Kirsch (cherry liqueur)

For the filling:

¼ cup Kirsch

2 cans sour cherries

3 cups heavy whipping cream

¼ cup confectioners' sugar

3 tablespoons cocoa

For the Garnish:

1 semisweet chocolate bar, frozen

At least 8 maraschino cherries (no stems)

One white candle

Directions

1) Preheat your oven to 350°F.
2) Grease and flour two 8 inch cakepans, or line with parchment paper.
3) Sift together the flour, the cocoa, the baking soda and the salt. Set this aside.
4) Beat the shortening and sugar together until they are fluffy. Add the eggs an vanilla and beat thoroughly.
5) Slowly beat in the flour mixture, occasionally alternating with the buttermilk. Beat until combined.
6) Pour the batter into the cakepans.
7) Bake for about 35 or 40 minutes (or until a a fork or a wooden pick comes out clean when inserted into the cake. Let the cake cool completely. The cake will be easier to cut if you keep it in the fridge for a few hours before cutting.
8) After the cake has cooled, cut each layer in half (horizontally) to make four total layers. Sprinkle the layers with the 1/2 cup of Kirsch.
9) Drain the canned cherries in a colander to remove most of the juice.
10) Beat the whipping cream with confectioners' sugar until it thickens to desired texture.
11) Put a small amount of the cream/sugar mixture aside for garnish. Mix the cocoa powder into the remaining majority of the whipped cream frosting.
12) Place one cake layer on the serving dish you wish to use. Spread about one 6th of the whipped cream on the layer, and strew a third of the cherries on top of the whipped cream.
13) Add the second cake layer on top of the first. Spread one 6th of the whipped cream on the second layer and 1/3 of the cherries on top.
14) Add the third cake layer. Spread 1/6 of the whipped cream on that and add the remaining cherries.
15) Top with the last cake layer. Frost the top and sides of the cake with remaining frosting.
16) Use a potato peeler on the chocolate to create thin shaves. Gently pat the chocolate shaves on to the sides and top of the cake, completely coating it.
17) Use the whipped cream you set aside earlier to place eight small circles around the top of the cake. Place your non-stemmed maraschino cherries on each one.
18) Place white candle in the center and light. Congratulations, you have made the cake a reality!

Submitted by Anonymous

Photo by Anna of Sixty Four Color Box, from the post "Not a Lie!"

Submitted by Anonymous

Photo by Anna of Sixty Four Color Box, from the post "Not a Lie!" (This is the cake without the shavings)

 

Submitted by Lonewoodvioloet

Submitted by Daniel

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