Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster

From The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams  

The Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster was created by none other than Zaphod Beeblebrox, the flamboyant, two-headed, quasi-antagonist of Douglas Adams’ brilliantly funny Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy series. It has been described as the alcoholic equivalent of a mugging: expensive and bad for the head. Or heads... Honestly, having two sounds like a real advantage when mixing cocktails.

 

Drinking the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster is said to feel like "having your brain smashed out by a slice of lemon wrapped around a large gold brick." Unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately), most of the ingredients don’t exist on Earth. Even Douglas Adams hisownself has stated that various environmental and weapons treaties, not to mention the laws of physics, prevent the real thing from being mixed here on Earth.

 

But DON’T PANIC! My earthly interpretation of this infamous drink is mostly harmless... Just be sure to consult your Guide for rehabilitation programs following consumption. And whatever you do, don’t forget your towel!

 

 

 Here's the recipe as written in the book:

1. Take the juice from one bottle of that Ol' Janx Spirit.
2. Pour into it one measure of water from the seas of Santraginus V (Oh, that Santragian seawater! Oh, those Santragian fish!)
3. Allow three cubes of Arcturan Mega-gin to melt into the mixture (it must be properly iced or the benzine is lost).
4. Allow four litres of Fallian marsh gas to bubble through it, in memory of all those happy Hikers who have died of pleasure in the Marshes of Fallia.
5. Over the back of a silver spoon float a measure of Qualactin Hypermint extract, redolent of all the heavy odours of the dark Qualactin Zones, subtle, sweet, and mystic.
6. Drop in the tooth of an Algolian Suntiger. Watch it dissolve, spreading the fires of the Algolian Suns deep into the heart of the drink.
7. Sprinkle Zamphuor.
8. Add an olive.
9. Drink . . . but . . . very carefully . . .

 

 

 And here's my earthly interpretation: 

Ingredients

• 1 ounce moonshine or overproof vodka
• 1 ounce sour mix
• 1 ounce navy strength gin
• 1/2 ounce peppermint schnapps (I recommend Rumple Minze)
• Splash of lemon seltzer or lemon soda, chilled (to taste)
• 1 small piece dry ice (optional)
  
• 1 teaspoon pop rocks (I recommend blue raspberry or green apple flavor)
  
• 2 to 4 dashes lemon or orange bitters
  
• 1 olive (for garnish)

 

Recommended glassware:

•  Martini or Coupe

 

Directions

1. Optionally, chill the serving glass in the freezer for 10 to 15 minutes.
2. Add the vodka, sour mix, gin, and peppermint schnapps to a cocktail shaker filled with ice.
3. Shake for 10 to 15 seconds until well-chilled. 
4. Strain into the serving glass.
5. Top off with a splash of lemon flavored seltzer or lemon soda.
6. Drop in about a teaspoon of pop rocks and watch the fizzle.
7. Optionally, add one piece of dry ice and wait for the gasses to dissipate.
8. Sprinkle on the lemon bitters.
   
9. Add an olive.
   
10. Drink . . . but . . . very carefully . . .*

 

*Seriously, do not drink this drink (or any drink) while there's still dry ice in it. You must remove the dry ice or wait until it fully dissipates before taking a sip. Swallowing even a tiny piece of dry ice is extremely dangerous. Read about dry ice safety here.

 

 

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This recipe has been completely revamped. The original version was a modified version of an interpretation in ye old Bartender's Wiki (with credit and a working link). Since I've had just about a decade of drink-making experience (and written several cocktail books) between now and then, I’ve decided to go ahead and create this brand new interpretation from scratch.