Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster

From The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams  

 

The Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster was invented by Zaphod Beeblebrox, the flamboyant two-headed quasi-antagonist of Douglas Adam's brilliantly funny book(s), Hitchhiker's Guide. It has been described as the alcoholic equivalent to a mugging; expensive and bad for the head. Or heads. Say, it probably helps to have two heads when inventing cocktails... 

 

 

The effect is said to be like "having your brain smashed out by a slice of lemon wrapped round a large gold brick." Most of the ingredients for the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster don't exist on Earth, and Douglas Adams himownself has stated that there are a number of environmental and weapons treaties (and laws of physics) which prevent the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster from being mixed on Earth. But DON'T PANIC! My earthly interpretation of the infamous recipe is mostly harmless. Consult your Guide for the rehabilitation organizations and programs available to you following consumption. And don't forget your towel!

 

 

 Here's the recipe as written in the book:

1. Take the juice from one bottle of that Ol' Janx Spirit.
2. Pour into it one measure of water from the seas of Santraginus V (Oh, that Santragian seawater! Oh, those Santragian fish!)
3. Allow three cubes of Arcturan Mega-gin to melt into the mixture (it must be properly iced or the benzine is lost).
4. Allow four litres of Fallian marsh gas to bubble through it, in memory of all those happy Hikers who have died of pleasure in the Marshes of Fallia.
5. Over the back of a silver spoon float a measure of Qualactin Hypermint extract, redolent of all the heavy odours of the dark Qualactin Zones, subtle, sweet, and mystic.
6. Drop in the tooth of an Algolian Suntiger. Watch it dissolve, spreading the fires of the Algolian Suns deep into the heart of the drink.
7. Sprinkle Zamphuor.
8. Add an olive.
9. Drink . . . but . . . very carefully . . .

 

 

 And here's my earthly interpretation: 

Ingredients

• 1 ounce overproof vodka (or other strong grain alcohol)
• 3/4 ounce simple syrup
• 1 ounce navy strength gin
• 1/2 ounce peppermint schnapps (I recommend Rumple Minze)
• Splash of lemon seltzer or lemon soda, chilled (to taste)
• 1 teaspoon pop rocks (I recommend blue raspberry flavor)
• 3 to 5 dashes lemon or orange bitters
  
• 1 Spanish Olive

 

Recommended glassware:

•  Martini or Coupe

 

Directions

1. Optionally, chill the serving glass in the freezer for 10 to 15 minutes.
2. Add the vodka, simple syrup, gin, and peppermint schnapps to a mixing glass filled with ice.
3. Stir for 20 to 30 seconds until well-chilled. 
4. Strain into the serving glass.
5. Top off with a splash of lemon flavored seltzer or lemon soda.
   
6. Drop in about a teaspoon of poprocks and watch the fizzle.
7. Sprinkle on the lemon bitters.
   
8. Add an olive.
9. Drink . . . but . . . very carefully . . .

 

 

 

 

 

This recipe has been completely revamped. The original version was a modified version of an interpretation in ye old Bartender's Wiki (with credit and a working link). Since I've had just about a decade of drink-making experience (and written several cocktail books) between now and then, I’ve decided to go ahead and create this brand new interpretation from scratch.